Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Day 58

Supper tonight was less than 200 calories. It wasa 100 calorie poached salmon fillet, 2/3 cup cauliflower, 1/2 diced tomato, and a pickle. That totals about 190 calories. 
We walked in Virginia this evening. It was a really nice temperature to walk. It was at a rest area off Rt 64, in the country. The hillside was filled with cows.
I get so frustrated that I can't walk as fast nor as far as Pops. My stride is so much shorter and I still get pain in my ankle when I try to go faster. He walks slower for me and then I get more frustrated because I am holding him back. 
Tonight after I walked 2 milesI quit even though I want to walk 3 now. After I quit he walked another 2.5 miles. 
Later after we ate our supper, I went back out by self and walked another mile. But I am feeling so down on myself right now. I think I could walk to Alaska and still not feel good about myself. 
Used to be when I felt down and discouraged I would turn to food for comfort but since we are dieting I can't do that. Exercise is not picking up my mood, it is a contributing source of my discouragement. We just left home and it will be many weeks until we return, so I can't be excited about that. There are several big changes to think about happening within the next few months and they make me sick to my stomach with worry and fear. My faith is strong but I don't have the spiritual encouragement that I feel that I need. I guess I'm just one big pity party right now, but what's a party without cake? Right?
I hope I feel better tomorrow. I just need to get some sense of accomplishment.

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